1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Have a Happy Birthday #5
Here’s to another birthday, my dear I’m treating you to a course of liposuction Last year I paid for a full membership To the health club for weight reduction
Your eyes are drooping, the neck is dangling Your breasts are starting to sag My present to you, is a cosmetic overhaul At twenty-seven, you are starting to drag
