1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Your HMO #2
I woke up this morning, with chills and throat hoarse I think I came down with the flu In a 30 page warning, deciphering my health-care course Instructions of what I should do
"You must contact first your primary M.D." Uh-oh he's on a two week vacation "Unless you got a case of fatal V.D. all we can grant you is a full two days of sedation"
"The verdict is not rigid, it can be appealed" My blood presssure is making me tipsy "Please don't be livid, but our answer is scaled you can argue with the director in Poughkeepsie"
The number is dialed, the facts are neatly compiled My racing heart is now looking tachy-cardic "Your complaint has been filed, your illness judged as too mild I'm so sorry that you are feeling lethargic"
Oh poor poor me, for only a two hundred dollar fee My insurance could have easily been upgraded "You are now under our control, here-come take two Tylenol be grateful- you should feel dated"
I'm getting too thin, I can't afford my insulin The pharmacist will supply me no credit I've re-hit the gin, welfare days will begin Until then, I'll just feel decrepit
You have no assurance, with a card of insurance Only a guarantee of a steep monthly bill Convalesce in your closet, for your hard earned deposit HMO's say it still pays to be ill
