1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the Telephone Answering Menu
Thank you for the telephone menu A revolutionary way to get annoyed Visit the places, that technology can send you An ingenious plan, devised by Sigmund Freud
For hours you’re been searchin’ Never speaking to a live person Your composure is becoming a little fouler Will it be another case of “Touchtone Death” Or a total lack of telephone breath Call out for an emergency, telephone menu ,Val-Salver
Get a message if you are lucky Or re-wired to Kentucky The menu’s intention was to eliminate distress Get an earful of noisy static, In a foreign accent that is erratic Prop up your feet, sit back, and now start to press
A Ph.D will have to do In order to get to level two The telephone menu is a fun place to get lost in Now that you are sure You’ve become a regular telephone connoisseur Until you realize, that you’re been transferred, out to Boston
As your process has become numb, To telephone hallucinations you do succumb The telephone menu, has provoked your inner wrath Finger joints are out of position A common telephone menu, high risk condition Don’t you wish, that you continued, high school math?
Holding on to the impetuous phone line Growing warts on your tired behind You are just inches away from the telephone menu solution Time is lapsing as you feared Whiskers are turning into beard This is a clear case, of telephone menu, “Airwave Pollution”
“Please go ahead to number three” Feel the tightening of the coronary artery “What’s the maiden name of your lovely dear old mother?” Again you curse the lurid menu While getting sent to a distant foreign venue “What is the birthday, of your juvenile delinquent, younger brother?”
Your rising pulse you start to count, “What’s the last five digits of your bank account?” Give me the first fifteen numbers of your current valid Visa We all know about your past, Which is the arm you wore a cast? What is the name, of the red French poodle, of Aunt Louisa?
Here comes the telephone Lady Godiva, It’s the famous menu supervisor “All your data has officially been collected” As you drift and begin to snore “Please press digit number four!” It’s now the dial tone, you have officially been dis-connected
So thank you for the telephone menu The telephone menu, again has dismally failed Thank you very much for the telephone menu Instead of calling, the next questionnaire, will be mailed
