1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the Skinny Fast Diet
Thank you for the Skinny-Fast Diet My sloppy appearance I am trying to re-make My Nordic Track, I’m unwilling to try it So pour me a Skinny-Fast Shake
Bananas and Cream did complement my life style My flaccid thighs I am desperately trying to hide The last Skinny-Fast Lunch tasted like pure vile What was leftover, used as insecticide
My doctor advised a thorough daily work-out “Maximize to what, your body can withstand The luncheonette can no longer be your favorite hangout” But my exercise is to open up the Skinny-Fast can
Because I am entirely immobile, It’s time, for those dreaded Skinny-Fast rounds My goal is sincere and it is noble For the present, I weigh over three hundred Skinny-Fast pounds
So thank you for the Skinny-Fast Diet There’s no more that I can possibly say Next time, I’ll chose a different mother and father Along with a different course of genetic D.N.A.
