1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the New York Tankees
Thank you for the New York Tankees The memory of George Steinbrenner still permeates the stands They should be re-named the New York Tankees Expensive losers, the blame lies in many, incompetent hands
Just take a gaze out in deep center field where seats are sellin’ Monuments for Hall of Famers deserving lifetime recognition The largest monument is George, a lovable petty felon Buying the other teams best players, his other conviction
His embattled right fielder just got traded to Baltimore Throw out a few million is George’s over reaction The newest baseball mercenary now makes a monetary score Look in right field, cheer on hired Tankee, Reggie Jackson
A ludicrous contract for a player who has proven all lies Here comes a muscle bound, drug abuser, named A-Roid Just off the disabled list, from, an injury to his thighs False batting statistics, due to his dependence, on a steroid
New York fans don’t care, the win column is all that matters When Burnett pitches see the fans cringe in their seat His very best pitch, consists of tasty meatball platters Burnett makes millions, though his games end in dismal, defeat
Here comes Sabathia, he’s gained another fifteen pounds He’s demanding more millions to pitch a few more Bronx years He covers third base, permanently stuck on pitching mounds Another hundred million to digest, will help dry up, his tears
Now come the playoffs, the Tankees are hot They have just clobbered, the hapless Minnesota Twins It’s now in October, their artificial stamina is shot It’s time to go home, first round brings them, no more wins
The bases are loaded, the Tankees are down by a run Up to the plate steps a confident A-Roid The fans hit the exit, knowing the game is already done A-Roids swinging bat, chases the ball, it is "A-VOID"
A-Roid has again struck out, at the plate staring in disbelief The winning Tigers are cheering and celebratin’ Six more years his contract will bring A-Roid immediate relief Six more years, sufferin’ Tankee fans, forced to be waitin’
The fans hit the parking lot, the year ends again in disgust Team can’t scratch a run, but good at scratching their crotch "Ask for a raise", player’s agents know that’s a must "A new Tankee contract, this calls for a Scotch!"
In the Winter, the general manager makes a bold move "We need a number two and number three pitching starter" From the competitor’s team, their star players to be removed Baseball is a sport, the best team, must spend a little harder
Players from the past, were the genuine hero Yanks Mantle, Yogi Berra and dependable Whitey Ford Steinbrenner helped ruin baseball, we owe him "No Thanks" Tampa Bay fields a winning team, they no longer, can afford
Welcome to the Majors , cheer for New York Boston and Philly Out of the playoffs, watch them each run to the bank Buying the other team’s best players, now isn’t that a bit silly? An expensive payroll, though each one of them certainly stank
So thank you for the New York Tankees The 2011 season ended in a terrible, disappointing mess So thank you for the New York Tankees Who will be traded and bought, that is anybody’s, wild guess?
