1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for My Gastric Bypass
Thank you for My Gastric Bypass Popeye’s chicken I can once again order The pounds have melted off my ass I no longer have an overweight disorder
Once I was the neighborhood blimp Layers of adipose were collectively rollin’ I no longer walk with a side-winding limp Less activity now takes place in my colon
My stomach was shortened with a clamp French Fries only regurgitate I walk the stairs, no longer wheeled on a ramp I live in Louisiana, the “Gastric Bypass”, famous state
Exercise was deemed, a total waste of time My stomach was an accomplice of perjury My G.I. tract now accommodates, all “Fast Food” it can find God Bless, my sacred “Gastric Bypass Surgery”
Fat grams, I was never, one to count Reading the entire menu, is no long the question The lasagna is coming, I ordered the large amount Who cares, if I have chronic indigestion?
On the beach embarrassed, hid in a large beach towel Hear my loud and ominous , shoe sounds It’s amazing what happens, when you re-arrange your bowel Gastric Bypass will drop, fat pounds
The compassionate doctor held my hand “We will use a device that is known as the Lap” I then got billed for ten thousand grand I lost weight, and lost the ability, to crap
The Bypass has contributed to my new life’s lease Workouts at the gym, wasted months of my life A few stomach holes, and I’m no longer obese In just a few hours, asleep, under the knife
So thank you for my Gastric Bypass It’s nice to be look like my peers I have enrolled myself in a culinary class Then enroll in a Gastric Bypass, once again, in a few years
