1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Road Rage
Driving on a crisp Fall Sunday afternoon My Porsche hungry, for those scenic curves Enjoying a mood, elevating car tune Therapy for my battered, frayed sensitive nerves
Did the other drivers just descend out from Hell? Total nuclear war I’m about to engage Commuter entertainment that I’m fond of so well I’m now a contestant in a game of Road Rage
Look at that senile, comatose old bag Tying up traffic on Highway Eleven If that geriatric turkey continues to drag I’ll accelerate her with my AK-Forty-Seven
Why does that red light never seem to turn green? Caution signals I now tend to ignore it Is that a train? I’m about to get creamed I think it would be a wise time to floor it
Doesn’t that Chevy see my left blinker flash? Into the left lane, I’m attempting yet still My pulse is quickly rising, that Chevy I’d love to smash Road Rage, I just want to kill!
This is the seventh trip around this lethal block On the last lap of this horrifying morbid race Banged up a fender and loosened the shocks In a deadly battle for a prime parking place
This driver is troubled, therapy wasn’t successful He’s no longer carrying a semblance of a smile His medication was doubled, life deemed more stressful And all he got was to travel half of a mile
