1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear Your DNA Didn't Match
Sorry to hear your DNA didn't match The governor gave it a good try Your solid alibi went quickly down the hatch It appears for certain, that your ass is gonna fry
You murdered and raped, From old ladies you looted You callously shot the driver of Wells Fargo Your DNA is well suited, To help get you electrocuted Proving you weren’t visiting Aunt Bertha in Chicago
So please take good care, When sitting on the State electric chair Add a couple of thousand volts for a nutritious tasty supplement The firing squad you can pass, My first choice is the gas Choose from the menu of diverse State capital punishment
Your life was unruly, Hang down your head Mr. Tom Dooley Your address now reads “Death Row” If you could speak you’d lisp After you are burnt to a crisp So tell us before hand, how you wish to go
You will no longer kill nor plunder, When situated a good six feet under An eye for an eye is the rule that’s at stake Convicted by a jury of your peers, Convicting an innocent sheds no tears So what if the government, makes an occasional silly mistake?
It’s supposed to act as a deterrent, Let’s go boost up the current Justice has improved much since the barbaric Middle Ages Please understand our point of view, We don’t want any trace of you Once you’re condemned on our list of criminal pages
The State prosecutor shows no sign of mercy, Au-revoir and arrivederci Your genetic DNA and alibi proved encumbered Don’t bother with any repentance, Forget about a life sentence Your days on this planet, fortuitously now, seem to be numbered
Sorry to hear your DNA didn't match The law, obviously didn’t work out for ya’ So sorry to hear that your DNA didn’t match Next time hire, a good goniff lawyer
