1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Were a Government Bail-out
Sorry to hear you were a government bail-out Like a Five-Star Restaurant, an expensive take-out The only ones left smiling at the end, was the CEO Ten years was your safe investment A ten year profit of sound resentment The consumer, a massive IRS Tax Loss, to proudly now show
The Board of Trustees were too complacent “Here’s your mortgage loan, we will be patient” AIG President, now resides, in the spacious tropic aisles The plan was rotten to the core Though he watched his personal profits soar A Harvard hired grad, politely padded, company files
General Motors had a change in heart When their company and cars would not start “Here’s a couple of billion until new drivers can be found” Their top chief kept on insistin’, “All we need is a new piston” GM, will soon be driven again, right into the ground
With Fanne Mae there were many risk takers “Buy some land, grab a few acres” “Then borrow an extra couple million for your elite home” You will need your full composure When you are served with your final foreclosure The Top Brass made, a stinking profit, on your sick loan
Citi Group asked “ Feds, please do phone us” “Isn’t it time for our Christmas bonus?” “Incompetency is not a reason to get one fired” “Although our cash reserve is all bare” “From the Bail-Out Plan we want our entitled share” ‘We just might raise the bar, someday, to get one hired”
For Lehman Brothers a twist of fate They just missed out the bail-out date Their corporate officers failed to possess the needed resolve The missing assets a “Who dun-it?” mystery A hundred year corporation is now history The Brothers cleaned house, helped poor Lehman, to dissolve
Goldless Sachs claimed a slice of pie Wells Fargo followed with a, ”Hey, so do I” The CEOs, however, are thoroughly elated It doesn’t matter to be under fire With a “Golden Parachute” to retire As their company, unfortunately, evaporated
So Sorry to hear you were a government bail-out You went up to bat and became a government strike-out You left the rotten milk but took with you the cream Although you made out quite fine As your comrades filed Chapter Nine You have successfully followed the elusive, American Dream
