1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Booked an Italian Cruise
Sorry to hear you booked an Italian cruise In a few Nautical miles, you will be front page news Call in quickly, for your room service order Tonight is special, so look your best The shoes must match, the life saving vest Soon your ass will be treading in the water
Pop the cork, the grapes that year were fine Into the sea, you are about to wine and dine Onto the rocks, is an unexpected landin’ The crew is helpful, they are loud and well heard The only problem, you don’t understand a word The ship, the brave captain has already abandoned
This cruise was popular, view Italian history You became part of the myth and part of the sea A souvenir, a fractured broken limb The captain said “No need to panic” “This isn’t a replay of the movie Titanic” Join the captain, for an unscheduled, moonlight swim
The night was spectacular, a Disney fairytale In a brief Kodak moment, you went over the rail You should have given the poor captain a tip It took a lot of cash for this all exclusive booking I wonder at what, the captain might have been looking On a foxy passenger, and eyes not on the ship
American tourists are never afraid American lawyers are ecstatic, there is money to be made The rainbow provides a big bag of loot The lawyers will swarm like a bundle of bees They will fight to be first, to get overseas Each one dreaming of a class action lawsuit
The passengers will return, eventually Sipping their martinis dry, on a scenic balcony The crew now, will be much better prepared The captain assigned, will stick to his post His boat won’t sink from rocks, protruding the coast A little Prozac, and the captain won’t be running scared
A pillar of strength, the captain has plenty to say But it’s not for the passengers, as he is rowing away It is high time for captain to get out of Dodge There is nothing at all wrong with a harmless cat-nap As long as auto-pilot just follows the map For your next vacation, please just stay in a lodge
