1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You are on Jury Duty
Sorry to hear you are on jury duty Time to give democracy another fair chance Sorry to hear you are on jury duty Come watch talented lawyers, sing lie and dance
Explain just how you are an unrepentant racist With a Confederate Flag you always love to ride Brag that your grandmother, is a born again sadist You’re on the road to becoming disqualified
Seclusion for two months is the price of democracy Unfortunately you pulled a lowly deuce A lesson to be learned in the land of hypocrisy Your friends are at home with an excuse
We are now left with a crack jury of high-school dropouts All of these jurors can easily be snowed Just like the team of O.J. mental knockouts A dismal collection that can be routinely buffaloed
A unanimous selection for the jury was Zha Zha Her qualifications we spent hours to assess She’s the hat-check girl down at the Plaza Very impressive in her lo-cut sexy dress
So sorry to hear that you are on jury duty Join in a sanctified federal mission Add to a chapter of historic legal beauty Formulate another ridiculous, jury decision
