1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear About Our National Obesity Crisis
Sorry to hear about the National Obesity Crisis Perhaps on ice cream we should institute a stiff levy More tax money for the government keeps you slim Planet Earth is just getting a bit, darn, too heavy
People are eating, a few spoonfuls too often The average waistline is beginning to expand Grab a Fatburger, a large sweet tea it will soften Be part of the corpulence, now plaguing our land
Catchy TV commercials, inundate the child Mesmerized at two, by the family TV set A sugar high on Twinkies, he’s addicted and wild Latent diabetes, is the desert you will regret
The government provides guidelines, for lunch in our schools Eighth graders can no longer, fit into their jeans Grabbing a snack between classes, are the unwritten rules Meet with your friends, at the ubiquitous, vending machines
The government takes part, in this dietary fiasco Another worthless bureau, working, quite diligently A stench is elicited, one can’t hide with Tabasco The mindless town school board, arguing so belligerently
Health coast are soaring, parallels the hungry public’s girth Blue Cross premiums, are expensive, to contract Another slice of Apple Pie, a Cholecystectomy it is worth A small price to pay, when you become overly fat
Rolled into the operating room, require an extra tank of gas Get sliced from your chin right down to your stubby toes A few extra hours required, with the oxygen mask While the surgeon cuts through miles, of ungodly, adipose
Its no longer called fat, but politely called svelte Who ordered the pizza, with extra pepperoni? Just loosen another notch, on your flexible Coach belt Be a walking advertisement, for Mama Leone’s, macaroni
Exercise consists, with the fork and the knife Your breath, a medieval, volatile musk A lifestyle of sweets, dominate your pure simple life Americans are born possessing, a natural sweet tusk
People are compassionate, as populations protrude No store offends, with images and sounds Since the majority is now obese, the majority is no longer rude In America, you may weigh a good three hundred pounds
Fly like royalty on the airlines, you will be specially treated Airline management will be compassionate to your size Get your wallet out, purchase two tickets to get seated Lean on your sleepy neighbor, introduce him to your thighs
Statistics show, its an epidemic out of control Each year, an extra size, added to your pajama Every year passes, you gained another puffy roll Led by Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama
Sorry to hear about our National Obesity Crisis I’ll reform, no more cold drinks, I will diet So sorry to hear about our National Obesity Crisis Ben and Jerry’s has a new flavor, what the heck, I must try it
