1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You have the Change in Life
Sorry to hear about your change in life You have been appearing quite incredibly frizzled You are now Godzilla instead of a wife Your once tender ovaries have become rapidly shriveled
You yell and scream and slam the door We long debated on what was the cause It is easy to diagnose what the future has in store You are on the swift road to a glorious, menopause
Insomnia now is your new best friend Your mood swings form cold to boiling hot The “F” word has infiltrated every sentence to offend It’s time for a desperately needed, full strength, hormone shot
Your mind goes blank, you complain of aching and pains I can hear the sound of your bones incessantly creaking You need some spice and a surgical device To assist your bladder that is now constantly leaking
So sorry to hear about your change in life It’s not the time to become utterly complacent Give your precious ovaries a chance a second hand at life Please go immediately for some estrogen replacement
