1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Fell Asleep during the World Series
Sorry to hear you fell asleep during the World Series Those nostalgia days of the Brooklyn Dodgers have me weeping Polluting midnight ads, constitute the sponsor’s greedy theories Youth’s future memories, will be in their beds, soundly sleeping
The Yanks and Mets, propels New York’s contagious Series faith Baseball fever is embarking once again It’s one in the morning and it’s still the top of the eighth We will watch the highlights tomorrow on, E.S.P.N.
The Brooklyn Dodgers have progressed to mythical lore On their sacred souls, Lord, show some compassionate mercy Most reside on a bench, six feet deep in the outfield floor Pay fifty thousand for a Dodger autographed jersey
The player and fan once formed an unbreakable bond I would get depressed for a hitless Duke Snider Magnetic financial lure, facilitates the player to abscond Today the Duke, would be a fat overpaid, Detroit Tiger
For every New York Yankee, until death I would defend Memorizing box scores only add to the excitement Now after every pitch, we must accept and contend Here comes another lame pitch, for the next sit-com advertisement
The constant war between the hitter and pitcher is always a treat A 99 mile fastball consumes the batter with fulminating terror I’ve paid the scalper, three thousand for this obstructed bleacher seat I paid thirty thousand, to purchase the mitt, of Yogi Berra
Our catcher “Big Mike” hit a robust three-eighteen He found his pecuniary contract an insult-oh what a pity He’ll peddle his talents to a more appreciative team Next year, his ass will be behind the plate, in Kansas City
Baseball players have earned our highest respect They once complained they were unwanted cattle Learn to throw a slider that a radar gun can’t detect Skip high school, sign up for millions, play for Seattle
Jeter’s on first, he’s swift and he is cunning Second base he will be attempting to steal A repetitive station break, the repulsive kind they are running I’d like to crack the bat, on the rump, of Ali McBeal
As the T.V. camera pans the crowd, Hollywood Stars appear ingratiating Every player receives a resounding emotional clap There’s nothing in the world, that can be quite as nauseating As seeing a smiling Hilliary, adorning a New York Yankee cap
The Subway Series is now over, the players are racing to the bank Once again the New York fans are duly elated Next year’s team faces, again will be blank Most of the present players, have fortunately, been traded
The baseball agent plays hardball for a raise Barry’s bulging biceps are there, to prove it He’s now worth more than that of ten Willie Mays His toxic dose, of daily steroids, will then ensure it
Sorry to hear that you fell asleep during the World Series I no longer want my son to grow up to be a physician So sorry to hear you fell asleep during the World Series I want him playing baseball, and I don’t care, at what position
