1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You are Being Tried as an Adult
Sorry to hear you are being tried as an adult You just turned seventeen You placed the stolen car by mistake in reverse Crushing your grandmother’s spleen
The newspaper thoroughly covered the trial Only your sister came to your defense You pleaded The Fifth with a hearty denial You were known as the “Neighborhood Fence”
Your fingerprints are kept by the F.B.I. Your psychiatrist wonders how the family link went At the age of nine, your teachers could not deny You were becoming a juvenile delinquent
At the age of ten, you drank at a bar With forged I.D. created on your computer When turning eleven, a five fingered star The champ known as the “Elusive Street Looter”
The neighbors were conned when you skipped your bond At twelve you stole a neighbors Corvette It was disgrace, at thirteen you were maced For fixing races, only you knew how to bet
You turned fourteen in Military School Caught selling pornographic pictures to the Colonel When fifteen arrived, the youngest drug dealer alive You earned a thesis in the psychology journal
So sorry to hear you are being tried s an adult You turned seventeen in a glorious manner You have been well taught, priceless experiences you have bought Now you can run, for political office, in Louisiana
