1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to a Supermarket
You were completely out of whole milk the last orange was squeezed I was told You did have plenty of wheat bread the white bread grew three weeks of mold
The peaches, they were blatantly overripe the bananas, a deep solid green The pork chops were full of fat and gristle the sirloin was far from being lean
I visited you for the Super Bowl Out of Hot Wings, I started to panic The Butter Crisp Doughnuts were taking its toll “What the Hell, maybe today, I’ll go Organic”
The supermarket is often a welcomed oasis especially attractive on days hot and muggy At the cereal racks, I was stopped in my tracks When I was hit by a runaway buggy
I slid on the floor at the frozen food door My composure I’m sure to regain The pain will not last, I got fitted for a cast Waiting an hour, in the express checkout lane
