1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to the Modern 21st Century Bar
It’s Friday night, the tension is showing My adrenalin is starting to rise Must re-educate myself to the female species Need something appealing to my eyes
I parked my Corvette on First and Third Suffering from a wild case of the Friskies The bouncer grabbed me at the front door “Slow down son, it’s no longer the Sixties”
All the hopefuls were finger printed Regardless of their various ages Names were computerized and thoroughly scanned For F.B.I.’s “Most Wanted” pages
I passed the metal detector and polygraph test Was I part of a complex conspiracy? A doctor walked in and pulled out his pen “Son, I have to take a complete medical history”
My blood pressure was high, my face began to twitch I wasn’t the greatest medical example To enter this establishment, one can’t scratch or twitch The nurse stuck me for a stat blood sample
The doctor firmly announced I wasn’t welcomed here The came the loud pitch of the New York City Police siren “Re-apply again, son, in a couple of years” “Come get re-tested when you raise the level of your iron”
