1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the Tobacco Lawyers
Thank you for the tobacco lawyers Complaining they aren’t earning enough Making a fortune while they’re all fighting for ya’ And laughing hysterically, while you take in another puff
Look and see they are flying in bunches Circling like buzzards on their hopeless prey Five hundred dollars for exorbitant lunches Who cares?, tobacco companies are the ones that will pay
Cigarettes are rumored to be quite addicting Mark your teeth yellow and leaves a malefic stench It’s common knowledge, not all contradicting The trivial pack warning, was written in French
My chronic cough was diagnosed as emphysema I’ve been smoking since the mature age of ten My tobacco lawyer vacations in warm Pasadena “After your settlement, try smoking a different blend”
My prognosis is getting bleaker Breathing is hard and I’m starting to choke We need a fluent tobacco lawyer speaker To set the tobacco companies, all up in smoke
A seasoned tobacco lawyer chasing the fast buck Knows the answer to every tobacco lawyers wettest dream “Go to church and pray hard for some good luck Then praise the Good Lord for creating nicotine”
I don’t claim any personal responsibility In any way for my poor health and disease The tobacco lawyers will make it a probability It’s going to be expensive, growing anymore, tobacco leaves
So thank you for the tobacco lawyers Reflecting in their cozy homes on Park Avenue Toast to the health of these tobacco lawyers Again the taxpayers, unceremoniously, have been screwed
