1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Your Allergist
You got me through the stuffy winter With all my fulminating sneezes You got me through the springtime too When the pollen brings the wheezes
When I took that bite from the chocolate brownie My throat began to close Your rescued me with a magic shot I was able to breathe again through my nose
I kept my home free of dust That morning I could not open my eyes You said”Keep away from all seafood And especially all dishes that contain red dyes”
But one sad day it finally happened And now I can plainly see When I was no longer on your insurance plan You became highly allergic to me
