1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Burned Your AARP Card
Sorry to hear you burned your AARP Card What will you do? Your bladder is leaking? Body parts are soft, where once they were hard Listen intently, hear your brittle bones creaking
Hollywood Stars inevitably appear on its cover Two dollars off on the deluxe hearing aid You’re in a club which includes Wistler’s old mother Find a new knee in the classified AARP Trade
Flash your sacred card buying a new set of dentures Getting old, experience spasms in your core Travel for old folks, scintillating AARP adventures Cut out the coupon for a free month of Lipitor
No sciatica pain, leaning on your AARP Cane Feel secure knowing Obamacare will provide For the day of rain, a seeing eye dog they will train Into a nursing home, your family will have you hide
Join a conscription, renew your AARP subscription AARP makes it fun growing old Use AARP tissues, thumb through AARP back issues An imaginative flight plan, you have been sold
Sorry to hear you burned your AARP Card I am glad AARP rep has finally sent ya’ I hold the AARP in the highest regard I have been promoted to the title of Dimentia
