1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
MEMBER LOGIN
Ode to a Chinese Restaurant
Where should I dine for my 21st birthday? Lets do Chinese again The atmosphere is, Orientally soothing A place where your waiter is your friend
I asked him for the menu specials Something new, erotic and thrilling He offered a variation of Moo Goo Gai Pan And I promptly lost my back filling
The sweet and sour pork, looked so divine However my stomach became quite flaccid I gulped down the water, fly and all And begged for a side order of ant-acid
The won-ton soup, made my eyelids droop The menu needs a little revamping and refining Don’t try pickin”, modified Mandarin Fried Chicken It might be your last taste, of Planet Earth Dining
I got more sicker, being served a Pot Sticker My rapid pulse rose to a dangerous 123 The tasty Lo-Main, resulted in acute chest pain I became lethargic, from the Chinese, MSG
“Treat yourself to our famous eggroll” The waiter, he started to gloat The eggroll was dusted, saturated with hot mustard It lodged, right down in my throat
Gasping for air, I was unable to breathe “Please bury my body in Vancouver” My esophagus was hurt, the waiter ripped off my shirt He proceeded with a perfect, Heinlich Maneuver
After my heart rate settled down at last The waiter brought some undercooked steak “Please take a lookie, your Chinese Fortune Cookie” “Coming to this restaurant, was a tragic mistake”
When my birthday comes around, again next year Consider making the choice for me, please! Mexican, Italian, even Irish Stew, will do As long as it is not again, Chinese
