1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the Car Wash
Thank you for the Car Wash I dripped ketchup on my new beige rugs Driving down the filthy New Orleans highway I squashed several populations of low flying bugs
Look at that messy right front bumper All covered with some fresh greenish slime Yesterday it was a friendly little possum That didn’t cross the street on time
Right in the middle of my Car Wash I got splashed in the face with a hose I remembered to shut the top of my car trunk But the driver’s side window I didn’t close
As my car was getting its annual cleaning Humming to Pavarotti, the famous singing opera tenor I awoke at once from deep dreaming In time to watch the circumcision of a car antenna
Teenage workers will gladly help you See pictures of them smiling on the sign Remove first all your valuables They will gladly steal you blind
Honest Fred offers his famous guarantee “A beautiful washed car will come out of here rollin” A professional touch applied to your car Everything in your backseat will promptly get stolen
Once I had a nice iPod I unfortunately left it on my seat The teenagers stole my designer Ray Bans As well as the Topsiders for my feet
The teenagers finished my Car Wash To the left the tire since has leaned They also picked my wallet The car and I now thoroughly cleaned
So thank you for the long awaited Car Wash The next visit I will keep my windshield a lot clearer When it’s time again for a Springtime reaming I might exit this time retaining my side view mirror
