1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for Deadbeat Father’s Day
Another June- it’s DEADBEAT Father’s Day For my dad, he deserves a special, loving treat The scoreboard pronounces my love on display Today, he is a special, hi-scoring, DEADBEAT
The woman constantly rush to adore The universe revolves around my famous, idolized pop My brothers and sisters are unaccounted for Dad’s points on the scoreboard, never seem to stop
He has re-defined the definition of a running back It’s life’s game that matters to him most Another young fan, to join him in the sack He knows his way, between the coveted goal posts
He tackles his problems with millions in cash For his amusement, a million well spent Nine months later, results in another ten yard splash But his children, will never see a red cent
He claims the headlines, on the front page He is never seen, wearing an ominous frown On the field as well, he’s a fantasy team rage With the women, another easy, touchdown
The women will attempt, a valiant goal line stance The refs, will throw the yellow penalty flag Its only five yards, to get into their pants A friendly game, of stimulating tag
His children can easily fill the stands With a microphone, he is everybody’s best friend Always in bounds, his shuffling feet always lands Watch him describe his conquests, on E.S.P.N.
Another June, Another DEADBEAT Father’s Day Of my DEADBEAT dad, again I will dream On the Rabids, I hope one day too, I will play A football star, a DEADBEAT DAD, on the same team
