1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the Dinner Date #1
Your gourmet dinner invitation was accepted I visualized romance with midnight fun All goals could have been accomplished If only the pork chops were properly done
I was anticipating this sensual evening Lustfully counting down the hours of the week Splashing aftershave on every possible orifice While my testosterone was starting to peak
My hormones were engaged for a blastoff My eager stomach was able and willin’ “What did you add to that lethal lobster bisque? I’m in dire need for a shot of penicillin”
In ten days I should be fully recovered By then intestinal motions should start resuming Please invite me for another dinner date When my doc takes out my naso-gastric tubing
