1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Word perfect Number Nine
(Sing along to “Love Potion #9)
My computer is a relic, it is, out of date I bought it in the Summer of Nineteen, Ninety Eight It was examined by the gypsy and said, “I can make it just fine” “All the computer needs is, Word Perfect Number Nine”
The fonts are missing, I hear only noises and clicks The delete tab is gone, so are the color graphics It was examined by the gypsy, who said “You need a new design” She said “All you need is, Word Perfect Number Nine”
She turned around, pointed to the computer, laying dead at my feet “Word Perfect Eight is history, now considered, obsolete” She popped in the program, my heart raced a beat I held my breath, I closed my eyes, “Installation now complete”
Arrived at my office, hoping to make a front cover splash The icon was pressed, the computer started to crash Into the box, to the gypsy the computer went again “You only need an upgrade to, Word Perfect Number Ten”
