1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for the New York Police #2
Thank you for the New York Police They will kill you will their compassion and their kindness Their inner city attitude will surely never cease An edict by King Rudy, known as “Your Highness”
If you fit the criminal description Or remotely act the part Better to start a new life completely sedentary The police will add a few chambers To your once vibrant heart Reserve a slot in the now crowded cemetery
A club on your head Or a stick in your ribs Is the typical, New York cheerful cop greeting Earn an diet of lead With a mouth full of fibs Get treated to a free, Madison Square Garden, brutal beating
The police fraternity Swells with self-serving pride Find more pricks than on a tall Texas cactus It will only take a New York second To be sentenced and tried You will be volunteered for their afternoon target practice
King Rudy is known to be fair Equal opportunity to sit on the electric chair The police department continuously draws enthusiastic elation You have nothing at all to fear His motives are always quite sincere Fifty years have been set back in sensitive race relations
No need for tears of atonement It’s another tragic Kodak moment One can die from getting too much police protection King Rudy manages to keep on smiling Although dead bodies keep on piling After all, it’s time for the Senatorial election
Too many cadavers have dropped in Here comes the Reverend Al Sharpton Tawana Brawley will never deny it This needless additional futility Will lead us to an explosion of hostility What New Yorkers need is another, good knockdown, race riot
So move out to New York soon Find out who’s buried in Grant’s Tomb Take a leisurely ride on the immaculate New York Subway For the price of a subway token Watch all the homeless get their bones broken Another casualty, who rubbed the rabid cops, the wrong way
With enthusiasm beyond containment Laying sunny-side up on the clean city pavement Your red corpuscles will be exiting in mass confusion The wrong “Walk or Talk”, police make you feel inhibited When you are shot then politely ticketed Get treated to an Empire State, Big Apple, transfusion
So thank you for the New York City Police The safest city, in the world, anywhere Thank you for the courageous New York City Police Visit me, in Mt. Sinai’s, Intensive Care
