1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to a Snorer
Your snoring keeps me up at night My eye bags clearly tells You sound like a full blown megaphone Blasting at three hundred decibels
I dread the thought of getting to bed Another night of infamy An excerpt from the Philharmonic Playing Beethoven’s, Ninth Symphony
The mosquitoes are afraid to fly The blades of the ceiling fan are now broken I’ll pour some Tabasco Sauce in your nose To get your nasal passages opened
I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills I downed a dozen beers I can ignore the sound of New York ambulances A good night’s sleep, is still what I revere
The doctor said there is no cure I realized all my fears The only thing that I can do Is plug an iPod, into my ears
