1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to a Coffee Pot
I’m dependent on my coffee pot I crave that morning aroma Last night I got full of Chardonnay And now I’m in a full fledged coma
The caffeine that you do contain Wakes up my cerebellum My machine is old, but the pot is cold I wonder where they sell em’
They dress you up and flavor you It’s best when you are roasted I drink you up when my nerves are shot I beseech you when I’m toasted
I start out as a passive puss I need to be a militant Oh coffee pot I beg of you I need my daily stimulant
Hazel nut and Irish Blend Southern Pecan is deliciously wicked Coffee is just fine for you No matter to what drugs you are addicted
Get a quick morning buzz Don’t make it concentrated If you desire a cup at night Make sure it’s decaffeinated
Coffee pots are everywhere What once cost tens cents costs big bucks With a cute French provincial name Empty your wallet out at Starbucks
But coffee pot I’m stuck on you Vanilla Nut has made my mind crack The doctor suggested I eliminate you Or try the new flavor called Prozac
