1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Yasir "That's My" Arafat
Hijacked his first plane at the ripe age of five Hailed as the youngest terrorist known alive Known as the number one, Palestinian superstar attraction The Gaza Strip favorite son Taught College “Explosives Class 101” Around the world considered the Arab Michael Jackson
His ancient tricks have never ceased Causing steady commotion in the Middle East To the Palestinians, he proclaims daily, to be their savior From the vast heavens since he appeared With golden teeth and straggly beard A cross between Dr. Ruth and hero, Lawrence of Arabia
He’ll fly to Syria from the South While talking from both ends of his mouth He’s the worldwide, number one, prestigious diplomat He will be as friendly as he can be “Let’s push the Israelis into the sea!” Always charming, one and only, Yasser “That’s My” Arafat
He knows the presidents by their first name Was the guest of honor at a Laker’s game He can rap, and even dance and sing With his personality he can allure Yet the Palestinians remain quite poor I never miss him when he visits Larry King
Now he’s relaxing in the shade Clutching his favorite hand grenade He is in ecstasy presiding over an important Arab summit Loves creating dramatic world spectacles “Let’s grab those Yankees by their testicles” Then enjoys watching, the Stock Market, take a plummet
With a monthly change in his underwear Dances circles around, any Fred Astaire He loves racing, pet camel Clyde, on the Sahara Creates immediate crisis impediments “Just gotta blow up Israeli settlements” He needs a shave and a little tinge, of fine mascara
What’s he thinking? Is he sane? Golfing eighteen holes with Sadaam Husein Greeted the United Nations in his fancy battle attire Dined with Gaddafi in Tripoli Watches MTV continuously Pack those bags, Yasser, it’s time for you to retire
