1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Thank You for Miss Manners
Thank you for Miss Manners Reading your daily column makes me throb I’ve contemplated modification behavior I want to stop acting like a slob
Miss Manners I need your guidance How to grip a fork and hold onto a knife You can trust my total compliance I’ve been a barbarian all of my life
I will study manners diligently for hours My social graces apparently never did exist A warm friendly smile was never in my powers My slovenly ways still unfortunately persist
Miss Manners Help!, vital training is indicated You need not be a sleuth I’ve been a fan of yours since you have been syndicated But I am still undeniably uncouth
In my ear wax grows, I constantly pick my nose I’m always rubbing my bloodshot eyes In restaurants I burp, Earl Gray tea I do slurp You can say I’m not very civilized
I walk real slouched, On Mondays I’m a real grouch Fridays I drag, my chronic lethargic ass Make me spectacular, I’m tired of being Count Dracula I’m just begging for one small ounce of class
My thoughts are lewd, to long time friends I am rude My dress code is one horrid sight My vulgarity is getting worse, I incessantly curse Miss Manners! Please make me polite!
So thank you for Miss Manners Please send me your instant manners kit I’ll memorize all your daily planners Ass I want is some plain old etiquette
