1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Have Received a Whackocard
Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard The author on the road to righteousness has stumbled The rest of your life has irreversibly been scarred The fool that has written these cards should be pummeled
The writer responsible has insulted every known sacred deity His choice of Greeting Cards is not very well suited He obviously does not belong in our noble society He deserves a life sentence with no chance of being commuted
Whackocards has made a mockery of our fine lawyers here Personal Injury attorneys, only trying to make an honest living The ambulance belongs in their own hemisphere The lawsuit represents their method of charitable giving
The Whackocard Creator deserves no sanctity The Arab Spring should be an esteemed sacred event The Arabs should be riled up in full blasphemy With their ten wives, while complaining in their tent
These cards are a nuisance, its content outrageous The First Amendment should be immediately repealed Like a bad disease, the cards might become contagious Laws must be passed, have these desecrating cards, concealed
The Senators we elect are only trying their best They represent the cream of society most able The candidates we vote in, they deserve to be blessed Whackocards attempts proving campaign promises a fable
The content of these cards demonstrate one sick mind A schizophrenic or suffering from acute, self delusion To a locked sanitarium, he should well be confined While treated with a Thorazine infusion
He crossed the line, with his greeting cards from the start Not one single card contains a single ounce of merit He attacked America, when he made fun of Bigmart These cards should be burnt, I can no longer bear it
These cards are trite, and ever so sacrilegious The originator should universally be condemned My blood is boiling, I feel quite litigious There nobody or nothing, this lout, won’t offend
I have seen these cards, I have digested about half I have despised them since the middle of September OMG!, I find myself starting to laugh Sign me up! Make me a Certified, Whackocard Member
