1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Ode to Mein Nurse
You held my hand in comfort You covered me with blankets of wool But you came not to me when I rang the bell My bedpan, for hours, was full
Your nursing compassion is way out of fashion You woke me up for a damn sleeping pill But listen to me Ma’am, only here for an out- patient exam It is to your credit that now that I’m ill
Your generous rations, five days of starvation You provided me with absolutely nothing for pain With a bed full of beetles, and a behind shot with needles At which Russian Gulag did you once train?
I laid in the mud as you professionally drew out my blood My arm was a discolored road map My neck necroses black as you messaged my sore back Getting ready for your Samurai spinal tap
I lost one complete size though I left this hospital alive My life has learned a new point of view With a cast iron heart, you took one heroic part Fighting for the wrong side, in World War number Two
