1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear You Are Unemployed
Sorry to hear you are unemployed The mortgage collector is equally annoyed They are about to repossess your boat The “Pink Slip” received was an ominous sign So was the length of the unemployment line You’re stuck, holding a treacherous house note
The loan from the bank was solid and safe The CEO shook your hand, a gesture of good faith Your structured loan was then sold to a third party The bank and creditors formed a budding romance Alan Greenspan was the gust D.J., at the monetary dance His wisdom from a bottle of Bicardi
You have learned, life’s hard lesson As the rest of the country, enjoying another steep recession Financial problems have started to mount Buying a Porsche was sheer lunacy It drove you to the brink, of quick bankruptcy The IRS feeds, on your condemned bank account
You bought much more than you were able to spend Call in a loan, for a million more Yuen It’s un-American and unhealthy to save The flat screen TV, an impulse of lust A common disease, helped the country go bust Is there a cure for the financially depraved?
Is it time to leave the country of “Good and Plenty”? It’s been three long months, since you earned your last penny Another name, to the growing welfare roll Reading the classifieds, our patience are tiring “I am moving to Shanghai, I hear they are hiring” The only ones working here is the Border Patrol
Sorry to hear you are unemployed The fond memories of entitlements, you have enjoyed Our government is in need of an immedaite handout High ethical values, for congress it is inherent You can read their minds, they are all transparent Get more financial sense, by asking a Boy Scout
