1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
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Sorry to Hear About Your Low S.A.T. Scores
Sorry to hear about your low SAT scores But you showed courage, valor and persistence As soon as the Liberals, once again are in power You can qualify for Federal assistance
Your grades were rated at the bottom ten percent Wonderful opportunities for you this will bring You can be top driver of a fancy garbage truck Or flip patties at the local Burger King
Not everybody is prepared to take such a test Only a few can pass them with ease It’s obvious to all that you were not mentally blessed When you answered that Moby Dick is a venereal disease
You thought Thomas Edison invented the Beatles And Princess Di was married to Ray Charles That the greatest invention of the twentieth Century Was the construction of the in-door shopping malls
I thought you would ace the topic of music But you didn’t know Diminuendo from Crescendo You studied so hard for those couple of weeks But no questions were asked concerning Nintendo
So let us reflect, it is of no disgrace That you didn’t graduate , as the class top banana Grow up to be a politician or even a judge Or elected Governor of the State of Louisiana
