1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
MEMBER LOGIN
Sorry to Hear Your Firestone Tires are Being Recalled
Sorry to hear your Firestein Tires have been recalled I read about your untimely hazardous plight On top of Grandfather Mountain, your Ford Explorer stalled You turned left, but your tires turned your right
Kicking the tires couldn’t expose the defect any faster Your life was hanging, by a loose manufactured thread Now up to your neck, you wear a suit of fine plaster For ten months, you’ll be confined to your bed
Hold back the tears, The problem has been known for many years Confidence in the tire industry has irreversibly been eroded Flat on my back I was stiff After visiting the other side of the cliff Being deposited, when my Firestein, suddenly exploded
The improper design eluded detection Whatever became of consumer protection? After all, you must die sooner or later The disease is now systemic Let’s declare an acute tire epidemic The cure, is calling Guru, Ralph Nader
Inferior rubber they needed to trim Rather than losing your right lower limb The CEO drives a Porsche, and isn’t a bit worried Covered up nicely in every state An American Tire Watergate Sixty-two ex-drivers, have been decorated, medaled and buried
Safety is all within your divine power As long as your drive below fifteen miles per hour The charges for years have been vehemently denied The story makes one instantly throw-up So does the sound of another Firestein blow-up Firestein has taken, the American driver, for a wild ride
So grab onto your sacred clutch The next turn won’t hurt as much The tire industry deserves the wrath of American scorn You just can’t beat the exotic feel Of losing control of the steering wheel Every car part now, makes a noise except for the horn
The tire design we would drop it But it would cut deep into our corporate profit See our sexy tires, adorning your little red Corvette So take a browse in our show-room In the graveyard there’s more leg-room While playing a game of highway, Russian Roulette
So sorry to hear your Firestein Tires are being recalled It’s time for my weekly, Sunday cruise You have nothing to fear, start racing in fourth gear It say so, in the Firestein financial, daily news
