1-Thank you for Miss Manners
2-Ode to the Misery Channel
3-Sorry to hear you got caught hiking in Iran
4-Sorry to hear you were wiped out by a Drone
5-Thank you for Mein Summer Kamph
6-Ode to the Mexican restuarant
7-Thank you for the Big Mart store
8-Sorry to hear there won’t be an NBA season
9-Thank you for the Arab Spring
10-Sorry to hear you received a Whackocard
MEMBER LOGIN
Ode to the Louisiana Rag
Grab onto your partner and “Dosie-do” Could be a girl but it’s too soon to know With sweet perfume its hard to resist her Don’t matter at all, if it’s your cute little sister Your father’s doin’ time, too bad, what a drag Your mamma’s still beatin’ to the Louisiana Rag
Swing her to the right, now let’s twist and shout Cajun cocaine gets us high, swim like a fresh pickled trout Now turn her to the left, tonight a gift of red roses Tomorrow to the lab, evaluate your chronic cirrhosis Models and pimps, an athlete or a fag Nobody’s turned away, at the Louisiana Rag
A good time for all, so don’t be a cynic After all we just met, at the S.T.D. Clinic Syphilis still positive? I demand a re-test! I gave up on the sheep, and cut down on incest! My strength is certainly waning, my reflexes startin’ to lag A couple of years too many, dancin’ the Louisiana Rag
Here comes the moral Governor, as high as a rocket Got your hard earned taxes in his Louisiana pocket See an honest four years, the chance is remote So kick off your shoes, and give him your vote He’s paid off the Mayor, another election in the bag He’s now doin’ the two-step to the Louisiana Rag
The waitress little darlin’, a clone for Janet Reno Serving drinks for the Governor at his hi-tech casino Can’t find the books, the ledger’s well hid A few million in graft was the latest over-bid Now the Gov’s in prison, to the guards he can brag How he once wrote a verse, for the Louisiana Rag
The cops too are dancin’, not a chance they will miss it Selling confiscated drugs, the best and most illicit See a fine Southern Belle, a precious little puddin’ With a mouth chewing tobacco and a handful of Qualuden Please come with your mistress, ok if you are stag Drug deals are sweeter, when done to the Louisiana Rag
The judge knows the steps, he’s motivated and able He’s learned ‘em long ago, underneath the courtroom table Sippin’ on his moonshine, he’ll start each session with a holler He’s always in perfect rhythm, for another Louisiana dollar The next judge will be his son, a game of friendly family tag They all got filthy rich, playing the Louisiana Rag
The dance is now over, it’s sure time for all to go Your date was your brother, (but your father don’t know) The mosquitoes are in formation, I feel like I’m on the equator The morning sun revealed, I just made love to an alligator My spirits are down, I’m mentally startin’ to sag I’m waiting patiently to recover from the Louisiana Rag
